Being Poor
Heather
Being Poor
Being poor is knowing exactly how much everything costs.
Being poor is getting angry at your kids for asking for all the crap they see on TV.
Being poor is having to keep buying $800 cars because they're what you can afford, and then having the cars break down on you, because there's not an $800 car in America that's worth a damn.
Being poor is hoping the toothache goes away.
Being poor is knowing your kid goes to friends' houses but never has friends over to yours.
Being poor is going to the restroom before you get in the school lunch line so your friends will be ahead of you and won't hear you say "I get free lunch" when you get to the cashier.
Being poor is living next to the freeway.
Being poor is coming back to the car with your children in the back seat, clutching that box of Raisin Bran you just bought and trying to think of a way to make the kids understand that the box has to last.
Being poor is wondering if your well-off sibling is lying when he says he doesn't mind when you ask for help.
Being poor is off-brand toys.
Being poor is a heater in only one room of the house.
Being poor is knowing you can't leave $5 on the coffee table when your friends are around.
Being poor is hoping your kids don't have a growth spurt.
Being poor is stealing meat from the store, frying it up before your mom gets home and then telling her she doesn't have make dinner tonight because you're not hungry anyway.
Being poor is Goodwill underwear.
Being poor is not enough space for everyone who lives with you.
Being poor is feeling the glued soles tear off your supermarket shoes when you run around the playground.
Being poor is your kid's school being the one with the 15-year-old textbooks and no air conditioning.
Being poor is thinking $8 an hour is a really good deal.
Being poor is relying on people who don't give a damn about you.
Being poor is an overnight shift under florescent lights.
Being poor is finding the letter your mom wrote to your dad, begging him for the child support.
Being poor is a bathtub you have to empty into the toilet.
Being poor is stopping the car to take a lamp from a stranger's trash.
Being poor is making lunch for your kid when a cockroach skitters over the bread, and you looking over to see if your kid saw.
Being poor is believing a GED actually makes a goddamned difference.
Being poor is people angry at you just for walking around in the mall.
Being poor is not taking the job because you can't find someone you trust to watch your kids.
Being poor is the police busting into the apartment right next to yours.
Being poor is not talking to that girl because she'll probably just laugh at your clothes.
Being poor is hoping you'll be invited for dinner.
Being poor is a sidewalk with lots of brown glass on it.
Being poor is people thinking they know something about you by the way you talk.
Being poor is needing that 35-cent raise.
Being poor is your kid's teacher assuming you don't have any books in your home.
Being poor is six dollars short on the utility bill and no way to close the gap.
Being poor is crying when you drop the mac and cheese on the floor.
Being poor is knowing you work as hard as anyone, anywhere.
Being poor is people surprised to discover you're not actually stupid.
Being poor is people surprised to discover you're not actually lazy.
Being poor is a six-hour wait in an emergency room with a sick child asleep on your lap.
Being poor is never buying anything someone else hasn't bought first.
Being poor is picking the 10 cent ramen instead of the 12 cent ramen because that's two extra packages for every dollar.
Being poor is having to live with choices you didn't know you made when you were 14 years old.
Being poor is getting tired of people wanting you to be grateful.
Being poor is knowing you're being judged.
Being poor is a box of crayons and a $1 coloring book from a community center Santa.
Being poor is checking the coin return slot of every soda machine you go by.
Being poor is deciding that it's all right to base a relationship on shelter.
Being poor is knowing you really shouldn't spend that buck on a Lotto ticket.
Being poor is hoping the register lady will spot you the dime.
Being poor is feeling helpless when your child makes the same mistakes you did, and won't listen to you beg them against doing so.
Being poor is a cough that doesn't go away.
Being poor is making sure you don't spill on the couch, just in case you have to give it back before the lease is up.
Being poor is a $200 paycheck advance from a company that takes $250 when the paycheck comes in.
Being poor is four years of night classes for an Associates of Art degree.
Being poor is a lumpy futon bed.
Being poor is knowing where the shelter is.
Being poor is people who have never been poor wondering why you choose to be so.
Being poor is knowing how hard it is to stop being poor.
Being poor is seeing how few options you have.
Being poor is running in place.
Being poor is people wondering why you didn't leave.
***
My family would like to add these items to the above list:
Being poor is being really happy when the school calls to tell you about the resources available for "new" families in the area.
Being Poor is your childs teacher "loaning" your kids school supplies and knowing you can't replace the pencils and paper and being grateful she didn't make you ask for the help.
Being Poor is being too white, too married and too employable to get any help.
Being Poor is hoping no one gets sick because you can't afford to go to any clinic and don't even think about the ER.
Being Poor is having an illness that people can't see from the outside so they don't believe anything is really wrong with you.
Being Poor is not being "disabled" enough.
Being Poor is your kids needing shoes and jeans and getting pissed off that they grew again and they are not any of these things at the thrift store when you need them.
Being poor is having a computer and one car so...your are told and it is deemed that you can't possibly be really "poor".
Being Poor is saving cooking oil for re-use and telling the kids it adds flavor to food and it's a old family secret recipe.
Being Poor is knowing the new box of cereal won't last long enough.
Being poor is waiting for the kids to get done eating, and then finishing their food and telling them you weren't really hungry anyway.
Being Poor is knowing you have family members that will never know what being poor really is and can't understand why you "choose" to continue living the way you do, and having friends think you are going to ask for help every time you look at them, so you don't have friends or family anymore.
Being Poor is hoping that the local temp job that is paying $7.50 an hour will be close enough to home so you don't have to spend half of your paycheck on the gas to get there.
Being poor is hiding from your kids in the bathroom with the shower on so they won't hear you crying about having to pay the bills.
Being Poor is knowing no one really trusts you because your poor and that means your "nasty, a theif or a lier."
***
So this year when you are stressing out about what to buy for Christmas presents...think about what being poor in America or wherever you are really means to some "real" people...and think outside the box. Tis the season for Peace, love and goodwill to all Men...that includes the poor too.
Have a blessed day,
Heather
www.badkittyartstudio.com
Access: Public
being poor
July 2008
heather, heather, heather, feather,
this was my bedtime story tonight and the tears will help me sleep.
i can remember living some of them, and then feeling stunned by others that i was spared from.
now, gov.mit romney from massaxchuesetts, a la ronald reagan, is cutting millions from essential human services that directly help “the poor” as he leaves to run for republican president of the us of a. will the rallies and protests help stop his madness? will gov elect deval patrick be able to reverse the damage? meanwhile, how many more children will be left behind? and how many left behind already will suffer even more?
still, i go gently into this goodnight…we are all one.
Sing it sister….
Being poor is a mixed blessing… I read this and remembered many wonderful memories from childhood and some not so great…
I think you should write from your heart Heather- no matter what comes up…
Many blessings of abundance upon you and yours..
Katrina
Being rich is having a compassionate soul.
Being rich is security and maturity in things not material.
Being rich is sharing special moments with friends and family.
Heather, while you may be lacking in “money,” you certainly have an abundance of currency of the soul.
Christopher
Wow thanks one and all…I just wanted to make a simple point…that this is not a commercial event for shopping spree's and debt creation for all of us. We can make a difference in so many lives, even if it's just being present to witness and hear and heal by hold a hand or giving a moment of true compassion and love to another.
Thanks for hearing me…Love to all.
Heather
I got the nastiest attack on my other blog about this post…I was personally attacked for talking about being frustrated about being poor. It blew my mind, and then I reacted with anger….now I feel bad because I didn't control myself, but also kinda proud that I stood up for myself too. I don't know…I just needed to vent that day, and I felt better because I did, then I I got this really terrible comment from someone I know! I have written over 670 posts, in three years, very few have ever been venty…I am always working hard to keep it in perspective, stay on the lighter brighter side of things, and I got this really terrible post about how terrible I am for feeling frustraded and then writting about it in my personal blog…I am still feeling icky about it…I mean really sick. I don't know maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut, let the ugliness speak for itself, but at the moment I was so shocked, and pissed off, I mean I didn't post in a chat room, or a fourm, I posted about what I felt in my blog…I know it's not private, I know people read it, I know they have the right to feel however they feel…crap…I just feel awful now…and the writing of the post was to get it off my chest so I could move on in the first place…:(
This sucks.
i am glad you opened your mouth, heather—people need to be aware of how poverty affects our fellow citizens—even if they dont like hearign it, its important they/we face the realities and what it brings up in them. it may not feel good to you now, but you did an important piece of work for yourself AND for humanity and you dont need to take on someone else's crap when you know we each have more than enough of our own.
be easy on yourself, babe!
Thank you Mary…from the bottom of my heart…Thank you.
Heather
It is your blog and you have every right to share what you need to share… As I firmly believe-if someone doesn't agree with you then they can simply pass on by and keep their opinions to themselves-I am all about being harmless in my comments… Treat others as you wish to be treated… That's my motto( It's also a basic spiritual belief that most folks do well to remember)…
I saw that comment in your other blog-and was going to comment-but I don't have an account… anyway… hoped you would see this instead… again stay in the light.. sun light, moon light, starlight….
Thank you Katrina…again I am feeling humbled by the LOVE that is offered here, and by you too…thank you, you are special and loved because of it. I am staying in all the lights…because of people and spirits like you I am reminded why I am here to do what I do…courage in love, faith and determination. You know what? My mate said these exact words to me in my wedding band (15 years ago now) and at our union meeting…you make it even more powerful in meaning, as you could never have known how important these words are to my heart. Mystical healing. Creative communion. Life as a work of art with love as the medium.
Heather
being poor is sending your children to war to pay for their eduction.
being poor is believing you have to fight someone else's war to make your life work.
being poor is sending other people's children where you wouldn't send yours
I came for the paintings…I stayed for the bog. It is magnificent. Period.
Yesterday on NPR I heard a horrifying statistic from a man whose name I’ve forgotton who has written a book whose name I’ve forgotton on the state of money in America. His words I have not forgottom: thirty years ago the average CEO of a company in this country earned 30 - 40 times as much as an average employee for the same company, (and I thought that was bad!). Today the average CEO of a company in this country earns 300 - 400 times what the average employee earns!
The gap, he said, between rich and poor is wider than it has ever been and is growing.
Your writing is right on target.
Fact is, if our basic needs are not satisfied, (re: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs), we cannot advance as human beings.
Thank you for your strong voice.
Victoria
Not having enough for a sustainable, nourishing lifestyle is nothing good…..it is a long, drawn out death of hope, dream, heart, spirit, and body. The disparity between the top and bottom stratum of our society (US) is sacrilege to the nature of humanity. And the sense of entitlement that so many express as justification of the disparity is a callous curse spewed over the deathbed of the dieing.
Sure, some souls will survive the experience and become all the more radiant flower in our society, but that can never justify the suffering caused.Thank you, Heather, for the reminder.
Well it's been almost a year since I wrote this post. I am glad to be able to say that I am no longer eating my kids left-overs, and praying for gas money. We were able to pull our selves up and out of the poverty and the mold infested, holes as big as my kids in the floor home we were living in. Life is better today, but not for everyone. I think this is still a timely post…now that the holiday's are fast approaching again…we could all do with a reminder about poverty in our own back yards. Thanks for all the responses.
Powerful words, Heather, and glad things are better today for you.
Can't really speak for others so speaking for myself :) I think it is important to be authentic; things just “ain't” always peaches and cream and to only talk about sugar and spice (unless, of course, things really are that way) may be denying the reality of one's current truth while subverting the possibility of self-healing and support from others when we are down. My reality? Sometimes I just don't want to hear “be happy”. Sometimes I just want to grump :)
Thank you for illuminating a real issue that affects far too many. btw, I read your other post and the responses, and, well, wow.
love and peaches,
Sprite
Poor is borrowing the money to fly to your sisters deathbead and can't pay it back.
Poor is not taking your sick dog to the vet because you can't pay the last bill from when you were there before.
Poor is giving your dog away because you can't afford to feed it any longer.
Poor is people looking at you from down up instead of up down.
Poor is trying to find a creative way to heat the house just in case you run out of propane.
Poor is cooking with a hot plate so there will be more propane for the furnace.
Poor is furnishing your house with goods from the free pile at the dump.
Poor is being afraid if people read this they'll go away and not think your nice to know anymore.
Heather…This is such an important voice! I have pulled myself up from the cockroaches, but never far enough that their shadow doesn't haunt me. Even now I hear and see my friends talking sincerely about how “The Secret” is all I need to know. I can't even afford to pay my overdue charges at the library so I can borrow the book! 10 years ago, it was Positive Thinking is all I needed to do…. well….I made my way to $15 an hour only to be shot down and back to $9. …again. When I did make $15/hr I was working 60-80 hours a week on salary, so it was like making $7.50. I had two small strokes from the stress which I never told anyone about because I knew they'd replace me if they thought my health was failing. I'm working 7 days a week now @ $9, up to 16 hours a day some days and still cannot pay the bills. I did not visualize or 'create' this,although many people believe that. People do not wake up and go..”I think I'll be poor today” I accept the fact I have made some bad choices at times, but I did not choose to be poor.Corporate America no longer allows people to work for years on end. Once you get to where you make a certain paygrade, the tap on the shoulder comes and you are ousted. Some call it a victim mindset. I call it poor. I could label it rich, and still not be able to buy dogfood for my friend and protector. I know I am a powerful speaker and hard working employee. I am a decent artist and photographer. I know I am capable of many things, but I do not understand how to make poverty go away. I have been to college. It doesn't change things. I am now in my 50's. I have a great resume' but when a prospective employer sees me, they see old and overweight. They do not see my power, my beauty, my creativity nor my spirit. I show it to them, but they don't want those things. They want youth and flash. They want inexperience so they can take advantage of young people who don't know the ropes. They want youth mirrored to them because they want youth for themselves. They want the money for themselves. They want our lives for themselves. God Bless America…and please hurry!… PE
Side note: Heather, I will be attending an open mike tonight and would very much like to read your poem. Would that be ok with you??? Happy Holidays..PE
PE, I am proud just to know you, and I sent you a private email in regards…to my high regards…*giggles* sorry. I'm glad you came by and shared, it means a lot to the whole of us that you did.
Heather
What you wrote struck such an intense chord within me.
I have l lived each and every word .A number of years back, due to catastrophic illness, I lost everything; my house,cars,health, my business.
I would also add
It makes you invisible.
Nobody wants to “see” you.
They dont want to be touched by your poverty.
Thankfully things have improved signiciantly for me
But I can never forget…………………….
Heather,
Yesterday I read the story “Life in the Iron Mills” by Rebecca Hardin Davis (if I will ruin the story for you, you don't have to read this). It was about a man that worked in the iron mills during the Industrial Revolution. He carved statues out of the Korl that was the refuse from the ore after the metal was run. This story was based upon actual mills that existed during the late 1800s and early 1900s. These people were the lowest of the low at the time, facing conditions that were intolerable. Hugh, the man who the story was about, was said to be unlike the other men and had “foreign thoughts and longings breaking out through his quietness and innumerable curious ways”.
At the end of his shift at the mill, the men who controlled the money came by the furnace that he was tending and saw a statue that he had carved. Hugh usually destroyed his sculptures after he carved them, but he had not gotten around to destroying this one yet. The men that had come around saw the genius in his sculpture. They could not understand it, so they asked Hugh to explain. He said she was hungry. The men said she looked well fed to them, but Hugh expressed that her soul was starving. The men knew it was from, among other things, a lack of opportunity that can only be created by money. They saw that Hugh was in that situation, and that because he was in such a depraved state that he was starving inside. The men did not help him despite knowing what he needed.
The story goes on some more, and as it went, Hugh ends up in prison for coming in to posession of money that belonged to one of the men that would not help him. The sentence was for the rest of his life, and as he was behind the bars he could see the beauty of the world that he would never be a part of again. He killed himself in his dispair once he realized the hopelessness of his condition.
I'm not saying that your soul is starving by comparing what you wrote to this story, but the story made me wonder about the poverty that exists today. There are many kinds of poverty. I have faced my own poverty, but it was a different kind. This story made me want to help, but I didn't know how. Through your post I realized one of the many ways that I am ignorant. I didn't realize the kind of suffering that people still go through because of lack of money. I knew that there are people that don't have much money, but I didn't see what that meant. Your post really opened my eyes. I hope that you forgive me for my ignorance. Just know that I am looking for ways that I can help against the different faces of poverty, and I know that there are many other people like me. I want to learn how to help. Pray that my ways to help will not be ineffectual.
I hope and pray the best for you,
Christina